The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Non-Fiction. Published 1992.
Read: January 2013, 203 pages
Skillful communication is within your grasp. While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. Dr. Chapman identifies these and guides you towards a better understanding of your unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate’s love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return.
The Five Love Languages was enjoyable and insightful. It offers a guide to specific and personal ways people express their love. Everyone has different needs and when they aren’t met it’s hard for others to reciprocate love. Dr. Chapman insists that speaking the love language of your mate will even rekindle a relationship that appears to be broken beyond repair. I recommend this book to all who are seeking to improve their relationships with others. At times the book is wordy and technical, but the author adds many relatable examples of real couples to illustrate his points.
We all have unique preferences when it comes to expressing and receiving love. Dr. Chapman lays out what each love language is and how to identify which category a personal falls in to. Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. The problem is most people know how they want to be loved, but that doesn’t tend to align with how their partner wants to be loved. You have to learn to speak your partner’s love language. The five love languages are:
- Words Of Affirmation: Encouraging words, verbal compliments, kind words, appreciation, humble words, admiration
- Quality Time: Togetherness, focused attention, quality conversation, listening, expressing emotions, scheduled activities
- Gifts: Purchased gifts, physical presence, made gifts
- Acts Of Service: Doing something for your partner that you know they would like for you to do
- Physical Touch: Holding, intimacy
Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love. -p92
Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different. -p130
Is it possible to love someone whom you hate? -p147